a good elbow-greased cleaning

Do you ever wish that you could take off your skin and give it a good elbow-greased cleaning?

 

I mean scrub it on a washing board, beat it with a broom like it's a Persian rug, vacuum it, put it in the washing machine and roughly agitate it, power wash it to blast away the graffiti of your misliving, roll it in aromatic herbs and essential oils and bake it for an hour at 375, broil to brown, boil it with just a dash of salt, hang it out to air dry?

I'm picturing my skeleton doing this, step by step & I'm holding my breath to keep my internal organs from slipping out of place.