I'm bursting inside.

I wish to knit my own noose. I wish to take up needles and knit my own noose. I wish to work and work harder and harder to construct my own end. There's a learning curve, I know, but I can wait. I'm patient. I'll curve the curve patiently until I reach the end. The end of any end is more end. And my more should be pretty and gorgeous, really. Really both those things; both pretty and both gorgeous. So I'll wait, patiently wait patiently. Take the time it takes, as they say. My end should amaze the eye, all eyes, with brightness of color. It's coming. It should swoon, the end, my more, possibly shine or more, spangle maybe. Everyone will be impressed then. Before the time they ask why, they'll be overwhelmed with how. That's what will really impress them then. How. When they find me then, dangled like a spangled flag from the rafter, asphyxiated by brightness, they'll be overwhelmed with how. I close my eyes and see this clearly now. It will be awesome, perfectly timed, unhurried, patient. How they find me when they find me. They'll be amazed then, impressed. I'm patient. It's coming. The curve, the time, the curve of time. More end, mine.

 

How it's done, that's what I'm learning now. To knit my own noose, taking up needles and getting it done. And when it's done, it will amaze the eyes. They'll be overwhelmed. amazed, wondering how before why.

 

I'm bursting inside.