Some woman was brushing her teeth while driving to work.

I love this kind of ridiculous lack of preparation.

When I used to take the El to work, there was a woman who rode at the same time as me. Everyday, she'd fight against the jiggling and jumping of the Brown Line to put on her makeup.
I'm not a person who wears makeup, so I maybe shouldn't  pass judgement, but it seems like it would behoove someone to give up a few minutes of sleep so they can apply their face paint accurately. I never stared long enough to see the final product, but she had to look not unlike a four year old's coloring book, with all lines painted outside outside of. Is "smeary" the word I'm looking for?

If the toothbrush in the car woman got into an accident the results would be a lot worse than a temporary jagged face.

What does as severed uvula look like exactly? Better yet, what how does it feel? Would the police be able to get a verbal statement?